Children will deeply grieve the loss of their family structure, including its traditions, routines, and sense of togetherness. They will feel significant pain over what they are losing and may struggle to transition both during and after the divorce. With an abundance of fears about the future, children often experience emotions more intensely than adults, yet they may lack the means to express those feelings. By working with a child advocate, parents can gain insight into their children's needs, hopes, and emotions. This knowledge enables them to collaborate with the advocate on strategies to alleviate their children's fears, providing stability and reliability during this tumultuous time and in the changes to come.

Having a children’s mental health professional available is crucial for helping kids navigate these traumatic experiences and granting them a sense of agency throughout the mediation process. The child advocate will relay information about the children's feelings and needs as parents develop agreements that impact their lives. This insight fosters understanding and compassion in parents, helping to mitigate the emotional harm their children may experience. The ultimate goal is to nurture well-adjusted, resilient, and mentally healthy kids who can thrive.

Adults navigating this process will also face a complex range of emotions, including fear, anger, guilt, and hopelessness. It's common for couples to blame one another or harbor feelings of resentment. Often, one spouse may want the divorce while the other does not. While Jill cannot serve as a marriage counselor, she is committed to guiding clients through this journey at a pace that feels comfortable, offering gentleness and compassion. She understands that emotions play a vital role in decision-making.

Jill recommends the documentary films "Split: The Early Years" and its sequel "Split: The Teen Years," along with the “Divorce Recovery Workshop” held twice a year in Santa Ana. Additionally, she suggests reading “Growing Through Divorce” by Jim Smoke and “Mars & Venus Starting Over” by John Gray, which are listed in the "Suggested Readings" section of this website. There are also various referrals for valuable resources, especially for children, co-parenting, and blending families, available in the same section.